“What do we know”? A question I’ve always held in my mind. How do we know if what we know is the actual truth? Or if what people think of as right and wrong indeed is? We could have all the elements of the equation and not be able to arrive at the answers. We could have the key right before our eyes and miss the right doors.
But what if those miss-ups are the reason we could know what to eliminate in order to narrow down the options and get closer to the answers? I, for instance never knew that I’d be interested in writing, although going back in time I’ve always been unintentionally ambitious about it in school.
I remember even writing stories and drawing all the characters and scenes. Now that I think about it I can tell clearly that the moments I was most proud of myself were those where I got complimented for something that I’ve written. Whether it’s in Arabic or in English. I still vividly hear my teacher’s compliments in seventh and eighth grade.
One day and somewhere along the lines, I lost that passion. And for years I was in a place where writing was nothing that interested anyone around. Eventually, I started losing interest, and even worse losing what made me once so proud of who I am. Why? You would ask. Simple I would say, because it’s easier to go with the flow than to fight against it. Because part of me was scared of failing so I gave up before tasting that specific type of failure; messing up the one thing I loved the most.
While drifting away from who I am, I started to sink into many versions that resembled me while none spoke my real reflection or had my identity carved in their souls. So does that mean I regret doing so? Nope, not a teeny tiny bit! If not for those slip-ups and mistakes I wouldn’t find my way back to where I actually belong.
And while writing is a tough job, especially for someone who is still taking baby steps to stamp their presence; sitting in a place that didn’t speak the language of my heart, soul, and mind was way more torturous than you could possibly imagine.
You would feel stupid just because you made the wrong call and chose a place that doesn’t accentuate your true talent and ability. See failing is not scary, what’s scary is failing without learning a new lesson. Leaving without knowing where you’re headed. Pursuing your pride to satisfy some social standards to tell the world you’re doing fine. When the truth is, you seldom seem proud of what you’re doing when it’s just you and your mirror.
I knew for instance that starting as a freelance writer; meant barely making any of what you call money and security. But you know what? I loved it, and it moved me forward to see the word “Writer” next to my name even when I made little to zero income.
Yup, some people look down on it, some intentionally and others unintentionally. I’ve had both, and while it poked at my heart sometimes, it was all the more reason for me to work harder and prove myself right! I didn’t want to waste my time proving others wrong because it most probably won’t get me anywhere!
If we have one life to live we might as well live it the way it pleases our soul, not others’. Our standards, not people’s opinions. And above all our passion, not others’ perceptions’. Figuring out who you are and what you want in life when you’re not even in your mid-twenties is a struggle.
But society, for reasons God only knows about; expects us to have it all and get it all figured out. And if we’re a little bit behind in that journey of self-discovery some ignorants label us as ”Lazy” or not “Trying hard enough”.
Whether you got to where you are now by luck, connections, or hard work; it never means you’re entitled to put others down for not trying hard or doing something wrong. What’s even worse is putting it in a friendly manner to act as if you’re showing concern.
Here’s the thing, if you don’t mean it no one is forcing you to fake it! It may sound hard but it’s actually easy, if you need to put others down to lift your spirit up, you’re nothing but despicable! there you go.
We’re all trying our best in life but some don’t, others work their ass off to achieve something, perhaps soon, perhaps later. That’s not for you to decide it’s up to God. So unless you mistakenly think you’re the Mighty don’t think you know everything in life.
Always remember that having the privilege to get to a place that someone else is working so hard for while skipping all the extra miles of the struggle is a reason for you to be thankful and nothing else.
